Thursday, May 24, 2012

Then She Found Me

Have you ever watched a movie that was so bad, so inept and so damned awful in every meaningful way that you want to find the director and punch her in the mouth?

If your answer is no, then you haven't watched Then She Found Me.

OMG. I found this on Netflix streaming and it has Helen Hunt playing a religious Jewish woman, Matthew Broderick as the husband that leaves her, Colin Firth as the man she's attracted to and Bette Midler as her birth mother who is famous, a chronic liar and basically a fucking idiot.

This movie was a muddled mess with insulting messages about adoption, families, love.... the only thing it didn't make me mad about was it's depiction of religion but that's almost only because it was touched on in meaningless ways.

Hunt looked anorexic in the movie and I kept wanting someone to feed her. Midler was a parody and I love the woman to death but hated hated hated her here. HATED!

In the movie Hunt's character is adopted and her mother is a cold hearted bitch. Then she dies. Then Midler finds her and tells her a bunch of lies and looks crazy and unrestrained and ick. Then Hunt gets pregnant, baby is not viable and miscarriage, Hunt hates everyone, Hunt treats Colin Firth and his kids like shit but she wants kids, then she demands Midler pay for her IVF treatments while insisting that adopting is horrible and she can only love a child that came from her body and then the movie ends with Hunt and a Chinese daughter.

So what part of this movie was there to like? Oh yeah. Nothing.

As a woman whose mother and sister and daughter all were adopted into families and who believes that family is who you want it to be.... I FUCKING HATED THIS MOVIE!!!  I want it to be unmade, I want the hour and a half of my life back and I want Colin Firth to promise if he ever sees Helen Hunt again he'll slap the skinny bitch silly for putting him in this piece of shit.

That's three thumbs down because I'm borrowing an extra one to pan this crap.


3 comments:

  1. I absolutely refused to see this, since I love the book and could easily tell they utterly perverted it. Obviously, I was not wrong. It's a wonderful book and I don't think it's offensive re adoption. Has a delightful romance with an unusual beta hero.

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  2. P.S. Pretty much everything you describe is not in the book. The only thing they didn't invent is that the main character is Jewish (her adoptive parents were camp survivors) and her biological mother seeks her out after their death.

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  3. I have to say I agree Lori, although I don't perhaps hate it as much. Could be 'cause I didn't watch it all.

    Not a huge fan of Helen Hunt's anyway I think I wanted to watch it because of Bette and Colin. All I can say is thank God I didn't pay the 18 bux to go and see it at the cinema.

    I've seen movies I've hated as much as you hate this so I feel for you. It's a shame though that unlike money, we can't get the time back from the producers.

    Oh, I did have to laugh at the Colin slapping Helen comment lol.

    Let me see if I can't think of another movie that will wipe this from your memory. I gotta warn you though, it won't have wrestlers in it :D

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